I want some of you to read this letter from one of my high school friends I just recently got back in touch with. She was my best friends girlfriend for several years. Even after his death we remained friends for a long time until carriers and marriage seperated us.
I hope she does not mind seeing this letter back to me but we have so much in common. I had tears in my eyes reading this. I want to share it with you as well. This puts it in perspective for me. I might just read this everyday I feel like falling off of my diet. As a matter of fact I will print it out and post it on my wall in my gym.
Here it is:
I'm on the same path. I am a warrior. I have lived several lifetimes, just in this life and I'm seeking MY inner strength.
I think it's beautiful and I am here to validate your journey!
I am part of a few groups, whose main message is that of Inner Peace. The inner part means You. Not someone else. Not pleasing others. Not harming others. Just you.
Another part of me works with Energy, whether by Aboriginal methods, Asian type healing, or plain old Shaman work. I am a warrior for my own peace. I am reaching for my higher good. In doing that, I may be a beacon for others on a similar path. I found out a lot about me in the past 20 years and I pretty much like who I am.
I used to be worried about looks and pleasing everyone, so I could have friends. The longer I'm alive, I see that the people who like ME, the real me, don't give a damn about my looks or the pleasure I would bring to EVERYONE. When I am comfortable being me, my true friendships shine and I am happy in the moment.
Warriors live in the NOW.
Back to food. Yeah, me too. I used to keep up with Cooper, eating. Not for what I was hungry or thirsty for, but for keeping things "fair". If he ate a certain amount, then I would too. I do/did that with most people. It wasn't logical and I wasn't hungry, at that point.
do you do that?
And NO, don't cut out all carbs. That is dangerous to your body and organs if you don't have any carbs. Even when your body can convert other parts of itself to sugar form. Dangerous.
Plus, if you do it the slow way, it tends to stay gone longer.
I have a problem with undermoving, more than I do with overeating. Though you wouldn't know it this week. Chocoalte and hormones are clashing this week. MORE water!!!!
The most effective diet I've done so far is the 6 Week Body Makeover. It's a pain in the BUTT to figure out and it costs a bit of money, for the workbook and plan. But it's 6 or 7 tiny meals all day long, with protein at every meal, with vegetables of your choice. Then you have a certain amount of carbs, different kinds, at specific points/meals in the day. Dropped 20 lbs. but was interrupted at about 4 1/2 weeks, by my Nana getting sick. Traveled and my new eating plan was hosed within half a day. I didn't feel like being a dieting warrior, while my sister needed me. Craved sugars under emotional stuff going on. Felt GREAT to be down 20 lbs. Have hovered at that weight for more than a year, because I haven't gone back to it again.
NO judgment! First and last rule of a warrior. Who has that much time and energy to judge and act on it? Against ourselves? Not a warrior. Warrior has a goal, whether it's in combat or self-discipline. If your focus is gone, you are ineffective in accomplishing the goal. You may hack away at it, piece by piece, but your war becomes prolonged and arduous. It's made worse by fear and doubt. You deserve this freedom. You are the most deserving you, you will ever be. Your life hinges on you. Your actions and health are dependent first, last, and always on YOU. This is THE time to be self-centered, self-serving, and self-loving. When you are strong, you can help others best. When you are weakened, you help no one. You can't. I don't mean for you to take this as permission to forget who needs you. I DO mean this for you to remember that each of us is most important to US. When you take care of yourself first, you have the capacity to keep helping others best. When we choose not to make ourselves our priority, we begin to weaken and we can't help anyone, whether we choose to, or not.
Judging yourself takes the most energy. IF you know who you are. IF you know what you want. If you know where you are going. Then don't fight the rest. It all falls away, because you've learned to trust yourself. Be proud of you. Quietly and Resolutely. Forget things that no longer serve you. They are your ego's way of controlling your future and present thoughts and actions. Your ego wants to control you and it uses fear and negative thought patterns to do it. Acknowledge your ego and move past it. All the voices in your head that pop up and make you doubt your truth are only voices of the past. When you create a new voice for yourself and trust that you will make good decisions, you can create whatever you want. When you live in the moment, acting with right thought, you don't have to worry about doing your best. You already have. You don't have to worry about regret. You've done your best.
IF I were perfect, and had this down, I'd have written a bestseller and not have to work ever again.
Being a warrior means that you already have a goal. You have chosen to be strong and to accomplish something. Now, all you have to do is get out of your own way. Enjoy your experiences, no matter how small. And LIVE.
My goal is under 200, in the next 2 months. Yours is 300 by when? And how much does that mean you're going to get rid of?
I intend to get down to anywhere between 135 and 160, by the time I'm 40. It's not to be prettier. Frankly, losing that much weight will probably add wrinkles in places better left unwrinkled. It's to be healthier.
Fight on, Warrior Man. You CAN do it. You know it and I know it.
I have fought other's sabotaging of my diets, too. My ex-husband (when we were married) brought me a cookie one day, to cheer me up, because I'd not lost any weight the previous week. How's that helpful?
Our families only see us a certain way and their egos can't handle big changes, either. Helping us stay the same satisfies their sense of right in the world. IT's not a conscious thing. Some people feed us out of love. Some out of jealousy. Some out of spite. Our egos let us feed ourselves that food. We can sabotage ourselves, too.
I have found that messing up one's diet plan is inevitable. I have also found that unfairly judging myself, as less than perfect, makes me go off the diet for longer and for more calories, etc. Easiest to acknowledge the security breach, reseal the hole, and get back to it. I still love myself. I was never perfect. And I'm in this for the long haul, because I'm the end result.
O.K.? And talking to your family who needs to support your decision for better health, may be the way to go. Type it up so you know how you want to say things. IF you think they'll listen better that way, just hand them your heart on the page. Could they please help you? List ways they can help you, by encouragement, or lack of food around work, or positive words, or no words....whatever helps you. And then, if they agree, but you need different support from them later on, then go to them again.
You weren't always this big and you want to get back to smaller. Let them know what you need. Most family members will do it, if you let them know what might help you. It's their discomfort with what to say or what to do that usually makes them seem like jerks. In my experience.
Stay on the path. The path leads to freedom. The path leads to health.
If you take a detour, leave markers and get back to the path!