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Reload this Page AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
Jokes and Funny stuff. Tired of getting the same jokes in your email that your aunt or sister has sent you but want to share it. Put it here and let everyone in on the joke

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AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
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Default AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD - 03-28-2011, 10:35 AM

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan.. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head

... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,
Alex


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Default 03-28-2011, 10:42 AM

thats is a classic if i ever heard one.


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Default 03-28-2011, 12:34 PM

That p.o.s. that tried to rob one of our finest; deserves everything he got and more. The sorry piece of flesh should have gotten every tooth in his sorry head shoved down his throat and maybe he'd remember the lesson every time a tooth exited his worthless body. The marine was right by not shooting him. That's too quick. I'm sure if the p.o.s. hadn't messed himself, the marine could have made him drop his weapon and then proceeded to kick the everliving poo out of him. I dislike thieves, their a waste of humanity. I can't tell this marine semperfi, because I am not deserving to say it. But, I wish him the very best and a long life.
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Default 03-28-2011, 01:15 PM

Seen this before and I hate to be a buzz kill, but I like knowing the truth about things. Hope you do too. If not, don't click the link:

http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp


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Default 03-28-2011, 01:34 PM

I hate the truth sometimes...lol


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Default 03-28-2011, 02:05 PM

Oh I knew it was fake just liked the story.


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Default 03-28-2011, 02:05 PM

if it was realy he would have shot the mother fucker.


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Default 03-28-2011, 02:30 PM

CORRECT...and if not we would have taken the firearm away from him and gave it to someone that would grow a set and pull the trigger..repeatedly...Motto anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice...


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Default 03-28-2011, 10:00 PM

Well now don't I have egg on my face. It sounded good though
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Default 03-29-2011, 04:01 AM

too bad it was fake. good story anyway


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Default 03-29-2011, 07:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PAPAW View Post
Well now don't I have egg on my face. It sounded good though
Luckily egg is high in protein....
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Default 03-29-2011, 09:26 PM

Your right Gerbilo, I knew there was a good reason to post.
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